


Jade x God, the best ship objectively

by KingOfTheLadybugs



Category: Original Work
Genre: Actually don't let me be yell at me and make me actually try, I'm just trying to die here guys, Other, if that wasn't obvious, let me be, this is just so I can figure out how AO3 works, this isn't an actual fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:01:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23905828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingOfTheLadybugs/pseuds/KingOfTheLadybugs
Summary: This is just me figuring out how AO3 works, so don't pay attention to this.I say as if anyone is reading this and i'm not just talking to myself
Relationships: Me/Seretonin, me/death
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Jesus is a bitch ass motherfucker, don't strike me with lighting i'm right. Fuck his dad.

What??? Is this???

THIS my good friends, is me talking to the void. I don't know how AO3 works quite well so i'm figuring it out by yelling into the dark void in my closet.


	2. Me dying, part 2: Electric Boogaloo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Electric Boogaloo jokes aren't funny anymore, i'm not funny. This is why I have no friends

H OLY SHIT apparently this is how AO3 adds chapters, so that's not fun. Uhhhhhhhh fuck i'll figure this out I guess shsjhskshjss


	3. Oh hello there, welcome back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to this hell of my own creation. I'm still a dumbass, thanks
> 
> This is me practicing formatting in my own special way

Bee Movie Script - Dialogue Transcript

According to all known laws  
of aviation,

there is no way a bee  
should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get  
its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don't care  
what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black.  
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow!  
Let's shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Ooming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

\- Barry?  
\- Adam?

\- Oan you believe this is happening?  
\- I can't. I'll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs. Your father  
paid good money for those.

Sorry. I'm excited.

Here's the graduate.  
We're very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B's.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

\- You got lint on your fuzz.  
\- Ow! That's me!

\- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.  
\- Bye!

Barry, I told you,  
stop flying in the house!

\- Hey, Adam.  
\- Hey, Barry.

\- Is that fuzz gel?  
\- A little. Special day, graduation.

Never thought I'd make it.

Three days grade school,  
three days high school.

Those were awkward.

Three days college. I'm glad I took  
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.

You did come back different.

\- Hi, Barry.  
\- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

\- Hear about Frankie?  
\- Yeah.

\- You going to the funeral?  
\- No, I'm not going.

Everybody knows,  
sting someone, you die.

Don't waste it on a squirrel.  
Such a hothead.

I guess he could have  
just gotten out of the way.

I love this incorporating  
an amusement park into our day.

That's why we don't need vacations.

Boy, quite a bit of pomp...  
under the circumstances.

\- Well, Adam, today we are men.  
\- We are!

\- Bee-men.  
\- Amen!

Hallelujah!

Students, faculty, distinguished bees,

please welcome Dean Buzzwell.

Welcome, New Hive Oity  
graduating class of...

...9:15.

That concludes our ceremonies.

And begins your career  
at Honex Industries!

Will we pick ourjob today?

I heard it's just orientation.

Heads up! Here we go.

Keep your hands and antennas  
inside the tram at all times.

\- Wonder what it'll be like?  
\- A little scary.

Welcome to Honex,  
a division of Honesco

and a part of the Hexagon Group.

This is it!

Wow.

Wow.

We know that you, as a bee,  
have worked your whole life

to get to the point where you  
can work for your whole life.

Honey begins when our valiant Pollen  
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.

Our top-secret formula

is automatically color-corrected,  
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured

into this soothing sweet syrup

with its distinctive  
golden glow you know as...

Honey!

\- That girl was hot.  
\- She's my cousin!

\- She is?  
\- Yes, we're all cousins.

\- Right. You're right.  
\- At Honex, we constantly strive

to improve every aspect  
of bee existence.

These bees are stress-testing  
a new helmet technology.

\- What do you think he makes?  
\- Not enough.

Here we have our latest advancement,  
the Krelman.

\- What does that do?  
\- Oatches that little strand of honey

that hangs after you pour it.  
Saves us millions.

Oan anyone work on the Krelman?

Of course. Most bee jobs are  
small ones. But bees know

that every small job,  
if it's done well, means a lot.

But choose carefully

because you'll stay in the job  
you pick for the rest of your life.

The same job the rest of your life?  
I didn't know that.

What's the difference?

You'll be happy to know that bees,  
as a species, haven't had one day off

in 27 million years.

So you'll just work us to death?

We'll sure try.

Wow! That blew my mind!

"What's the difference?"  
How can you say that?

One job forever?  
That's an insane choice to have to make.

I'm relieved. Now we only have  
to make one decision in life.

But, Adam, how could they  
never have told us that?

Why would you question anything?  
We're bees.

We're the most perfectly  
functioning society on Earth.

You ever think maybe things  
work a little too well here?

Like what? Give me one example.

I don't know. But you know  
what I'm talking about.

Please clear the gate.  
Royal Nectar Force on approach.

Wait a second. Oheck it out.

\- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!  
\- Wow.

I've never seen them this close.

They know what it's like  
outside the hive.

Yeah, but some don't come back.

\- Hey, Jocks!  
\- Hi, Jocks!

You guys did great!

You're monsters!  
You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!

\- I wonder where they were.  
\- I don't know.

Their day's not planned.

Outside the hive, flying who knows  
where, doing who knows what.

You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen  
Jock. You have to be bred for that.

Right.

Look. That's more pollen  
than you and I will see in a lifetime.

It's just a status symbol.  
Bees make too much of it.

Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it  
and the ladies see you wearing it.

Those ladies?  
Aren't they our cousins too?

Distant. Distant.

Look at these two.

\- Oouple of Hive Harrys.  
\- Let's have fun with them.

It must be dangerous  
being a Pollen Jock.

Yeah. Once a bear pinned me  
against a mushroom!

He had a paw on my throat,  
and with the other, he was slapping me!

\- Oh, my!  
\- I never thought I'd knock him out.

What were you doing during this?

Trying to alert the authorities.

I can autograph that.

A little gusty out there today,  
wasn't it, comrades?

Yeah. Gusty.

We're hitting a sunflower patch  
six miles from here tomorrow.

\- Six miles, huh?  
\- Barry!

A puddle jump for us,  
but maybe you're not up for it.

\- Maybe I am.  
\- You are not!

We're going 0900 at J-Gate.

What do you think, buzzy-boy?  
Are you bee enough?

I might be. It all depends  
on what 0900 means.

Hey, Honex!

Dad, you surprised me.

You decide what you're interested in?

\- Well, there's a lot of choices.  
\- But you only get one.

Do you ever get bored  
doing the same job every day?

Son, let me tell you about stirring.

You grab that stick, and you just  
move it around, and you stir it around.

You get yourself into a rhythm.  
It's a beautiful thing.

You know, Dad,  
the more I think about it,

maybe the honey field  
just isn't right for me.


End file.
